September 10, 2007
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To Each His Own Sh!t
The feeling of being sh!tted on is never a welcomed one. I think, essentially, that's what sums up what I've been going through. It's even worse when people who are very close to you do it because they know that you love them unconditionally and will be there no matter what. We do it all the time to our family. It was pointed out to me that we always choose to hang out with our friends versus hanging out with our family. Who hasn't? How many times do we choose to be with our significant other rather than hanging out with friends? Very common examples that happen very frequently. Does it make it right? Does it make the other person feel better to know that they aren't the only person it's ever happened to? Not at all.
We have to find a balance that is good for us - knowing when we're being neglectful of aspects in our lives that are not integrated into one another and making efforts to correct our negligence. Ideally all aspects (family, significant other, friends) integrate eventually, but how does one manage those aspects in the interim? I don't think anyone intentionally sets out to sh!t on their Inner Circle. I most certainly don't because I don't like this feeling. A big burden is released when one has people around them who are understanding and don't place the pressure to choose on you. That's why your family gets the most of your sh!t - they don't ever make you feel like you'll lose them if you don't "choose" them. What responsibility do we have to our Inner Circle to be cognizant of their feelings while maintaining our own happiness?
After all, sh!t belongs in the toilet.
Comments (2)
I think that you do have to find that balance. You wanna be there for someone when they really need you, however you wanna be able to "do you" without feeling guilty about doing so. It's the age old battle of making someone else comfortable, or choosing our own comfort/desires.
I think that there's a difference between "shitting on someone" in your inner circle, and choosing to "Do You." It is my belief that people should look within themselves for their own happiness. Sorry if this sounds so simple, but this is how I feel. Your TRUE friends should understand that you're not neglecting them because you don't love them, but because maybe your experiencing a change that you need to deal with on your own. With the advent of myspace, email, and all sorts of advanced communications technology, a simple IM or email to your friends such be suffice enough to let them know that you care. This is that balance: do you and yet show your friends that you do care. It's also about how you communicate what your going through, how they're still very important in your life, and why you must choose you over them at that particular moment. Saying this in a loving and non threatening yet absolute way gets the message across but shows love for that individual.
preach on Soror!
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