**pardon me, as this post will ramble.....it's a pure gemini trait**

Ugh....I hate the feeling of 'not knowing'....anything.  If I'm asked a question that I don't know the answer to, I'll make my best educated guess and later go research it.....research meaning Google.  I wish I could Google when I will climb out of this slump.  I know I need to talk to a therapist......but lately I have not completed many things that I've started.  That's so uncharacteristic of me.  Totally and completely.  I don't really wish to talk to a therapist...I'm afraid I'll be told or perceived as unbalanced.  I know I'm crazy....I just don't want to be abnormal.  Go figure.  Things between MSP and I have been tense lately.  I could easily say it's all him, but I know I'm contributing.  I could do as I've done in the past and get ghost for a while...until things blow over, however, I know that's not the mature way to handle things.

I quit my job.  Yep.  I did it.  Nope, I don't have another job but I'm not stressed.  I was a bit nervous leading up to my resignation, but once I did it, I felt so relieved.  I know that's the sign that I did what was best for me. 

He's trying to prove a point to me.  I know it.  It won't work - I'm the Queen of Point Proving.  I have to work on that.  I know that's why I'm still in this funk.  Sometimes I wish I could just say Eff the Funk....and hope it would be gone.  **POOF**

Things I Need to Work On:
1.  Stubbornness
2.  Selfishness
3.  Seeing things from a different viewpoint without experiencing them
4.  Completing tasks/projects/endeavors
5.  Setting goals and mapping out plans to complete them

Of course this list will continue to grow....it's a start for now.  I have to ask myself if these things are those that I want to do for me or are they things I want to do because I think someone wants me to do them?  Does it make a difference either way?  I just don't know....blech.

For the first time since I've been in DC, I came home to my apartment tonight and actually felt like it's HOME.  I have a few other things I need to acquire to make it my own, but I'm off to a good start.  I've been in this apartment for a year now, and I hope that I don't get the urge to move again.  Of course that may not happen, but who knows....I know I don't. 

I hope I can get some clarity....soon.

My prayers are going up for Jennifer Hudson and her family.