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All About Me
Name: Nikki
Gender: Female
Interests: Literature, Politics, Crosswords, Movies, Music, anything African-American, Food (the eating part, not the cooking!), Writing (let's see how this Internet journal works out), Internet, etc......anything that I consider fun at the moment!
Occupation: Other
Industry: Nonprofit
Email: email me
AIM:  dstdimples
Yahoo:  dst_16
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Mah Calendar|
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Monday, January 05, 2009
Too longI hate it when I haven't been on here in a long time....then I have to debate on what to write about because, inevitably, so much has happened. Then I have to convince myself to keep still and stay focused so my writing doesn't seem like ranting and babble.
So, I'll just say this.....
I know that I love him deeply within my bones. I know that he is everything I need and want. I know I must make myself happy before I can hope to have anyone else make me happy.
Now, how do I do that?
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Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Tupac was wrong....I see no changes, all I see is racist faces
Misplaced hate makes disgrace to races
We under I wonder what it take to make this
one better place, let's erase the wait state
Take the evil out the people they'll be acting right
Cause both black and white are smokin crack tonight
And only time we deal is when we kill each other
It takes skill to be real, time to heal each other
And though it seems heaven-sent
**We ain't ready, to have a black President, huh**
It ain't a secret don't conceal the fact
The penitentiary's packed, and it's filled with blacks
I wake up in the morning and I ask myself
Is life worth living should I blast myself
I'm tired of being poor and even worse I'm black
My stomach hurts so I'm lookin for a purse to snatch
Cops give a damn about a ne-gro
Pull a trigger kill a nigger he's a hero
Mo' nigga mo' nigga mo' niggaz
I'd rather be dead than a po' nigga
Let the Lord judge the criminals
If I die, I wonder if heaven got a ghetto
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Dear God, I pray for optimum health, wisdom, mental clarity and political prosperity for Barack Obama and for his PROTECTION, as he serves as our 44th President! Amen.
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Monday, October 27, 2008
Sometimes...I Just Don't Know**pardon me, as this post will ramble.....it's a pure gemini trait**
Ugh....I hate the feeling of 'not knowing'....anything. If I'm asked a question that I don't know the answer to, I'll make my best educated guess and later go research it.....research meaning Google. I wish I could Google when I will climb out of this slump. I know I need to talk to a therapist......but lately I have not completed many things that I've started. That's so uncharacteristic of me. Totally and completely. I don't really wish to talk to a therapist...I'm afraid I'll be told or perceived as unbalanced. I know I'm crazy....I just don't want to be abnormal. Go figure. Things between MSP and I have been tense lately. I could easily say it's all him, but I know I'm contributing. I could do as I've done in the past and get ghost for a while...until things blow over, however, I know that's not the mature way to handle things.
I quit my job. Yep. I did it. Nope, I don't have another job but I'm not stressed. I was a bit nervous leading up to my resignation, but once I did it, I felt so relieved. I know that's the sign that I did what was best for me.
He's trying to prove a point to me. I know it. It won't work - I'm the Queen of Point Proving. I have to work on that. I know that's why I'm still in this funk. Sometimes I wish I could just say Eff the Funk....and hope it would be gone. **POOF**
Things I Need to Work On:
1. Stubbornness
2. Selfishness
3. Seeing things from a different viewpoint without experiencing them
4. Completing tasks/projects/endeavors
5. Setting goals and mapping out plans to complete them
Of course this list will continue to grow....it's a start for now. I have to ask myself if these things are those that I want to do for me or are they things I want to do because I think someone wants me to do them? Does it make a difference either way? I just don't know....blech.
For the first time since I've been in DC, I came home to my apartment tonight and actually felt like it's HOME. I have a few other things I need to acquire to make it my own, but I'm off to a good start. I've been in this apartment for a year now, and I hope that I don't get the urge to move again. Of course that may not happen, but who knows....I know I don't.
I hope I can get some clarity....soon.
My prayers are going up for Jennifer Hudson and her family.
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Wednesday, August 27, 2008
It's Been A MinuteYep, I know. There are many things going on inside this Gemini mind, even more so than usual. There's been a hesitation somewhat on my part, and it's due to the fact that I feel someone is lurking. It's not a big deal, because I could really care less what the lurker thinks...this is MY blog.  None-the-less, I just carry on in my normal manner.
***Sidenote - I think I want to cut my hair again. Maybe. Maybe not***
I'll be in San Francisco next week for work....my first trip ever to the West Coast. I need to travel more.
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Saturday, June 21, 2008
My Hope Deferred....I ended up not testifying in Dannie and Char's wrongful death lawsuit because of 12 jurors: 9 men, 3 men, 11 Republicans, 1 Democrat, no minority heritages. This group of individuals found the trucking company and the truck driver 'not liable' in the wrongful death civil lawsuits for Char and Dannie. Despite the driver's traffic conviction of improper lane change (there were too many 'eye witness' in the northbound lanes across the median who said Dannie caused the accident while she and the trucker were traveling south); despite the Defense attorneys being very ill-prepared and un-focused on evidence; despite the Defense's outlandish propaganda attacks on Dannie's driving; despite the Prosecution's case debunking all of the Defense's legal arguments; despite the MOUNDS of evidence to support the conclusion that the truck driver caused the accident; despite the Prosecution's case being as solid as the Egyptian tombs, while the Defense's case was leaking like the Mississippi dams.....
They walked away unharmed
AGAIN!
Cell phone records show the driver was on the phone when the truck popped Dannie's rear driver's side tire. That initial impact caused Dannie to lose control of the car and spin in front of the truck (that's what everyone traveling Northbound first saw).
The truck driver was ON HER EFFIN' CELL PHONE!!!!! She wasn't paying attention.
The trucker's deposition statement claimed that Dannie's car hit the bobtail (a bobtail is a semi without the trailer - only the cab and the hook-up for the rig). When the trucker was put on the witness stand, the earlier statement was thoroughly reduced to the lie it was.
The jury deliberated less than one hour. Such a quick turnaround surely meant good news for the Prosecution, according to all beliefs, including the Executive VP of the trucking company. Not so. Everyone was stunned in the courtroom. Never before had the Prosecution so well prepared lost a case against a completely unfit Defense team.
In civil lawsuits, the standard of proof is 'preponderance of the evidence,' or more likely than not. I'm certain the jury would have found more than enough to render a liable verdict if they had only touched the evidence given to them. They decided that the traffic accident was just that, an accident and that the trucking company and the driver were not 'more likely than not' to be at fault. To further twist the knife in our open wounds, the jurors were shaking hands and hugging the Defense afterwards. The 3 women jurors came to Dannie's father and asked if they could speak to the family. WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!?!?!?! WHAT could possibly be said? Those closest to the family had no words....the Prosecuting attorneys had no words....but YOU, the group who said the defendants weren't responsible....YOU have words that you want to share? HELL NO!
Yes, accidents do happen. Not one of us believes that the truck driver MEANT to cause deadly harm to two very special people. Nonetheless, it happened and the driver and the company should take responsibility for the action that caused so many people to have a void in their lives.
When I think about the fact that the accident involved 4 people in 3 separate vehicles, and everyone ELSE walked away from it virtually injury free AND once again, everyone ELSE in this case walks away untouched......I can't help but to feel like my hope for some closure has escaped my grasp once again. I now have to begin to close this void on my own. We all have to make those moves to initiate our healing process without the smallest fraction of hope that the driver or company will say "I'm sorry." Truth be told, that's all any of else really wants: Someone to acknowledge the mistake that was made. The mistake that left a void beyond measure because 2 very special and dear people departed this Earth a long time before anyone expected them to.
Our hearts are linked eternally. On Sunday, the day we were to leave for Tampa, C-lah and I got the tattoo here in DC that I was planning for all 3 of us to get in Tampa. We'll catch Rai up in August. I'll post pics once it's fully healed.
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