So I'm a little weird.  Okay, maybe a lot weird.  I was in a meeting and looked at my 2 weeks unshaven legs and said "I need to get my legs waxed."  Mind you, I haven't waxed my legs since I moved to DC.....too expensive when compared to what I paid in Tampa, but I knew I didn't want to shave (it's such a CHORE because I'm so nit-picky, not to mention the bumps and stuff....save it for the birdies) and I knew that I couldn't comfortably keep wearing pants much longer.  Remember, I'm still in a meeting and this is just racking my brain.  After the meeting (which lasted 1 1/2 hours), I went to the salon in the basement of the building and booked an appointment for this evening.  Impulsively focused.

Sheesh....why can't I channel this energy towards work?

MSP has put me in the dog house.  He bought tickets to see Chris Rock a while ago, after asking me if I wanted to see the show.  Of course.  I love when he plans things.  So the show is Sunday.  I have to go out of town for work on Sunday.  I'm gonna miss the show.  He planned the event and bought the tickets.  My boss asked me if I could leave out on Sunday instead of Monday.  I could have made my reservations to leave on Monday.  I forgot about the show.  I messed up.  It's all my fault, and I'm more upset at myself because I know how he is.  He won't take the initiative to plan future outings because this one fell through.   Le sigh.

I'll be in the dog house for a while.  This, I've accepted.

That's it....that's what I feel inside and the first thought that comes to mind when I think of MSP.

So, I had one of my bunions removed late February.  Don't frown your face up.  I've had them all of my life.  I distinctly remember one day in the first grade when I had my favorite outfit on....this purple jumper and my favorite brown flip flops.  Cheryl, who sat right next to me, had 'funny' looking feet.  At least that's what I thought.  She didn't have that curvy bone on the side like I did.  I thought she was weird.  Then, I remember looking at the feet of the other kids around me, and I realized I was the one with 'different' feet.  I remember my grandmother asking me about my bunions when I was in high school. 
"Why do you have bunions?!  You know that comes from sticking feet the size of Texas in shoes the size of Rhode Island."  Whatever.  I thought that I had done something wrong as a kid.  You know, you see the pretty shoes but they aren't in the size you need so you tell your mama that your toe really doesn't hurt so that she'll get the cute ones? 

What? You didn't do that?  Okay, okay.  I did it only once.  I was NOT about to wear those plain patent leather black shoes when the other pair had this pretty lace bow on the top of them that matched my Easter dress.  Nope.  Not having it.  My mother knew the deal, anyway.  The week after Easter those pretty bow shoes disappeared for eternity, and my mother knew back then that my shoes were VERY important to me.

Anyhoo, bunions are a genetic condition.  A medical deformity.  Not the first one I've encountered of myself.  Most people instantly recognize the deformed muscles in my cheeks.  I always thought of having them removed early in life to avoid the painful state that is inevitably caused by bunions.  I saw an ad seeking participants for a post bunionectomy pain reliever research study.  Hey! Why not?  Free surgery?  Free follow-up care?  Compensation for completing the study? YES!! 

Hold on.....

I'll be a guinea pig, but I want to make sure it's safe.  I consulted my side doctor, Dr. Mish.  She looked over everything with a fine tooth comb and gave me things to discuss with the research group.  The study required me to be under medical supervision while taking the study drug, which meant I would have to stay 3 nights in the research facility.  Great - I would have immediate medical attention if necessary.  I met the surgeon and he explained the procedure, took x-rays of my foot, and explained, in detail, the necessary follow-up and care.  He also told me that he does his incision on the side of the foot, whereas most make the incision on the top of the foot.

Okay, so the morning of February 25th, MSP drove me to the facility and waited until time for the surgery.  The anesthesiologist asks me what's my favorite drink.  MOJITO!!!! 

"Well, I'm about to give you 10 of them right now."  I smiled, said Hello to the surgeon, looked at the ceiling........

........and was being awakened.

"Okay, time to get up....here let me help you."

Now...the study drug: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  It was a combo of morphine and oxycodone, I think.  At any rate, my idea of painkillers is to GET RID OF THE PAIN!!!  Not so.  Whenever I took the study meds my pain level decreased one level...from like a 7 to a 6.  On top of that, my BP had to be a certain level in order for them to administer the meds.  No big deal, right?  Wrong!  My normal BP is low......around 86/61 or something like that.  Well, my BP needed to be at least 100/whatever.  BIG PROBLEM.  If I was in pain and wanted meds...my BP was never high enough.  The nurses began to feel bad for me and show me tricks to get it higher before the pain became excruciating.  More times than not, I had to take the back-up meds, Motrin, or wait until my pain became worse.  Ironically, pain makes your BP go up.......but I wanted meds BEFORE I felt the horrible pain.

MSP took EXCELLENT care of me.  He's definitely a keeper.  For the first week and a half I basically set up shop on his couch.  He shopped, cooked, and cleaned with no complaints or problems, on top of working his normal thousand hours/week and doing the coursework for his PhD.   He gave me the extra special treatment and the icing on the cake was washing my hair for me. 

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

So lucky am I.

Anyhoo...I was in a bulky shoe boot for 8 weeks.  I took 2 weeks off from work, partly because I REALLY needed a break and partly because it was recommended to take the full 2 weeks off by my podiatrist.  I was not about to be caught looking un-fly because I had a boot on....no ma'am!  I bought some cute metallic flats to offset the un-fabulousness of that bulky shoe boot.

By the time I went to Tallahassee for my chapter's 35th anniversary, I was a boot-walking pro!!!!  I even got a few shout-outs in the club from the DJ!

At any rate, most people never noticed I had a boot on my foot because I was fly every where else.

The boot officially came off Friday and I celebrated by buying new sneakers!!!!  I'm now confined to sneakers for 2-3 weeks...no running, jumping, etc.  At this rate I'll be in heels by June.  Sigh.  I would post before and after pics of my foot...but that would be ummm....TMI.  LOL!

It's time to do something new...forreal. The job is not cutting it anymore. I love the work and the people but I'm not growing. I'm partly to blame. I mentally check out every now and then; I go through the motions more than I should. I communicated my desire to do work in another department but that fell through. I apparently said something to offend senior level staff when I expressed my desire to go into a different area than the one senior staff wanted to put me in. There was too much ego involved...another co-worker express the same un-desire to work in the one area and I think they were still a bit salty about it. Oh well.

So I'm leaving. That's not the scary part...nothing about leaving is scary. I'm a tad bit nervous because I don't have any prospects lined up.

I have to have faith that this will work out.

I was drifting off into slumberland all snuggled up in my bed.  It had been a while since I actually slept in it.  Between sleeping at MSP's or falling asleep on the couch, I missed the feel of my sheets and the solitude of my bedroom.  This sleep would be well needed and much deserved after a long overdue morning of exercise at strip aerobics and a full day on my feet at the part-time gig.  The shrill noise of MSP's ring on my phone crept into my mind.  I thought maybe I was imagining it.  Sometimes it's hard to hear my phone, especially if I close the door to my room.  I heard it again. And again. And again. And yet again.  Mind you it rings 2 long rings before it deems the call "missed."  I didn't want to get out of the bed. 

I called him an hour and a half ago.  I was leaving work - very drained.  It's been a while since I've awaken before 12noon on a Saturday.  One of my book clubs planned to go to a strip aerobics class at a facility out in Arundel Mills.  The class was the free introductory one offered to give an overview of the facilities and what to expect in a typical session.  I have a newfound respect for those who work the poles.  I had a great workout, and unlike another facility in DC, I didn't have the wobble legs that caused me to fall down the steps when leaving the studio.  I signed up for a 6 session class and receive specialty shoes and a yoga mat.  I also purchased a t-shirt that says "Pole Dancing is NOT a crime."  I realized I was behind schedule in leaving in enough time to get home, shower, change, and go to work.  I called the manager to tell them I was running late and then realized that I needed to be at work an hour earlier than my normal shift for a staff meeting.  It was 1:15pm when I left Arundel Mills.  I showed up to work at 3:00pm, an hour late for my shift and 2 hours late for the staff meeting. sheesh.  That meant I forfeited my place in line for late night cuts.  Needless to say I left work after midnight, having to return the next day for my 12noon shift.  Not the end of the world, but nonetheless, not what I intended for the day.  Anyhoo back to my bed.....

My warm, soft, comfy bed.  I wanted to stay there and let my body just give into the comforts of rest.  To feel my chest rise and fall with the air of knowing that the day was finished.  I needed the clarity of sleep to help me figure out what the next chapter of Life has for me. 

But the phone kept ringing.

I inched from under the covers and made my way to the couch where I rest the phone at night.  I had four missed calls from him, each being one minute apart.  He didn't give me a chance to call back...

"Hello?" I said in my best 'Youwokemeupouttamysleepandwarmbed' voice.

"I wanna cook you breakfast in the morning."

Cue the warm feeling of "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww" in my veins.

We discussed the menu and he said he was on the way to pick me up.  That meant I had to get up to get clothes ready for going to work the next day.  WAKE UP, Nikki. 

Did I mention I was hungry?  On the way home from work I contemplated my late night dinner options. 

#1 - McDonalds - I'm not a fan of fast food, especially McDonalds, but it was one of few options within my immediate vicinity.  I scratched it off the list when remembering that I lowered my standards earlier that day when hunger pains were battling in my stomach on the hurried way to work and it was the only food choice venue I saw on my commute.

#2 - Wendy's - I will occasionally succumb to the fast food industry by way of Wendy's, mostly because of their fries!  I decided against it because of the temptation I gave in to noted in #1.

#3 - Chez Nikki - I had a few pantry staple options that wouldn't require too much time or energy at 12:30 in the morning. 

I decided to go with the option of #3 and had every intent of opening up the cabinets until I walked into my apartment and had the chance to look at the complete disarray of the place.  Bags, clothes, and shoes, everywhere.  I have the habit of leaving things where they fall for days on end.  So I started to do a little bit to make the place cleaner.  Half an hour passed and the day overtook me.  I took off all my clothes and climbed in under the covers....tired and still hungry.  At least I could solve one of those problems easily.

So where was I? Okay....I'm gathering clothes for work and thinking about how hungry I am.  My phone rings and MSP is downstairs waiting.  On the way to his house he asks if I want ice-cream as he activates his turn signal for McDonalds.  UGGH.  Definitely don't want ice-milk from Mickey D's but I'll settle for fries.

"Are you hungry now?" he asks.  I nod my head and yawn.  "Okay, no McDonalds.  How about IHOP?"

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Pancakes and Turkey sausage here I come.

"You're gonna get breakfast twice," he notices.

True, indeed.

It's about 2:15am and, of course, IHOP is the club after the Club.  Everybody was in that place trying to get something good in their stomachs.  The wait wasn't long, but we decided to get the food To Go instead.  The couple that came in behind us had just seen "Roscoe Jenkins" at the movie theater and said they died of laughter.  We talked with them until their table was ready.  Our conversation then turned to the various characters in the restaurant:  The Nighttime Police Officer, The Host running the waitlist, The Night Manager, the endless stream of drunk Light Skinned People coming in, the local club hopping cliques of women and gay Black men.

Then we saw a waitress walk over covered in some light colored liquid.  She motioned for the police officer and pointed to a heavy set light skinned man staggering toward the bathroom.  We heard him retch his stomach before reaching the door.

Yep.  You guessed it.  He emptied his binge drinking stomach on the poor waitress at the table and then at the bathroom door.  The officer put on surgical gloves and a mask and headed toward the bathroom.  The waitress stood in plain view of everyone as her manager told her to go home.

"Oh, I only live 3 blocks away.  I'm coming back after I change my clothes."

The smell was awful (at least to me).  I seemed to be the only one who could smell that intense odor.  I walked out of the restaurant into the other waiting area and then outside when that didn't help.  An empty stomach and that stench made me very queasy.  I walked up and down the sidewalk taking deep breaths. 

"Hey, don't walk down too far.  I can't see you from the windows,"  MSP said when he stuck his head out. 

I wrapped my scarf around my nose and mouth and sat in the other waiting area with him.  We were talking with others who came out to escape the creeping smell.

At his place I inhaled my food and got into bed.  It was 3:30am.  We talked about various things and nothing in particular.  I love our late night bedtime chats.  Something about the communication while on the verge of dreamland seems magical to me.  The last time I looked at the clock it said 4:23am

I was awaken by MSP tickling my nose.

"Here's your tea."  He remembered the honey, too.  I sipped a little and then drifted back to sleep.  I woke up with a craving when he came in to check on me. 

"Can I have dessert first?"

He likes his dessert at night; I like my dessert in the morning.  He obliged me and then brought breakfast in on a tray. 

It was delicious and satiating and wonderful.  I got up to get ready for work and kissed his sleeping face before leaving.

"Thank you for The Good Stuff, Double Edition," I whispered in his ear.  We both grinned. 

I looked at his face - his creased eyelids, ebony skin, full lips and squared cheeks.

I kissed him again, and whispered our code for "I Love You" before heading out the door.

So Tiger doesn't find any harm in someone using the word "lynch" to describe how other golfers should beat him?  Excuse me?!  They should LYNCH him?  Not only did Kelly Tilghman use the word associated with the most heinous acts known to Black Americans, she even suggested hiding the act when she chose the phrase "in a back alley."  Get the eff outta here!  Her whole phrase was malicious and conniving in the words she chose to use.  Let me tell a Jewish person I've known for 12 years to go work in a concentration camp somewhere and let's see how long we stay friends.

So I stole jacked this from StoneColdBrown.

20 things outside of me and 08 things inside of me for '08:

20 -
1.  The next POTUS will be a Democrat, and therefore, not like any other POTUS before (either a woman or a Black man).  America needs change. 

2.  Oil has reached $100/barrel.....and we will either stop driving as much (relying more on public transportation) or look for increased use in alternative fuel methods. 

3.  Celebrity DownLow Brothers will be outed like no other movement.....Chris Stokes is just the beginning.

4.  1/3 of the states in the US will adopt some type of domestic partnership/same-sex marriage/union law, giving gay and lesbian couples recognition and rights of traditional marriage.

5.  BET will succumb to the throes of reality and realize they are the single most denigrating factor to the downward spiral of the image of Black America today.  Once they come to this realization (either by choice or by force) they will shut their doors and re-group.

6.  Britney Spears will retire and put the paparazzi out of business.

7.  The Writers Guild Strike will forever change the way people look at workers unions.

8.  GWB will end his tenure with a bang....being impeached/indicted on conspiracy charges related to the CIA destruction of tapes (or some other highly controversial issue).

9.   The Presidential election will be decided by Pennsylvania, Ohio, Florida, Nevada, and Colorado.

10. Whitney Houston will release her Comeback Prelude album.  It won't be stellar, hence the prelude, but it will be worth buying.

11. Janet Jackson will be pregnant.

12. VA will overturn the incredulously errant reckless speed law applicable only to VA residents.

13. Florida will finally push the statewide rail system Jeb vetoed a few years back.

14. Charlie Crist will come out of the closet.

15. Alexyss K. Tylor will become the Iyanla Vanzant for the uneducated masses.  She can relate to them in ways many dare not attempt.

16. R Kelly will elude trial for another year (sorry to disagree with you StoneColdBrown).

17. Micheal Jackson's album will be fairly decent if it ever surfaces.

18. Kanye's book will be on the Best Sellers list.

19. Abortions will be made illegal by the SCOTUS.

20. The aftermath of Hurricane Katrina will be brushed under the rug for good, leaving many permanently wiped away from America's memory.

08-
1.  I will write everyday.

2.  I will not be with my current employer by the year's end.

3.  I will not have to fret over financial situations I could have avoided.

4.  DDG will regroup for Memorial Day '08.

5.  I will celebrate my birthday like I should have in my 20's.

6.  '08 will have a very unexpected surprise for me - either good or bad.

7.  I will take my time instead of always being in a hurry or a rush (this is patience continued for me).

8.   CFM will move into planning/proposal stages.

"It's called the past 'cause I'm getting past/and I ain't nothing like I was before/You ought to see me now...."

I talked to my mentor some time ago about a situation I really didn't know how to deal with.  Her response:  "Honey, you've just got to PRAY it away.  Pray like you've never prayed before."

That's what I did.  I prayed that all negative influences be removed, including me if I was the negative influence in her life, and for her relationship to be healed and all that she deserved because she truly deserves to be happy.  I honestly thought that I would be removed from her life and her relationship with him would be healed.  It turns out our relationship was healed and he was removed from her life. 

I know she's hurting so very bad and I pray that she doesn't take the full onus of what happened upon her shoulder.  Relationships take 2 people to make it work and both people have to work. 

Last night was the icing on the cake.......I'll explain in a minute.

I'm finally motivated, personally, to do more. It's taken me a while to acknowledge that I don't have to go through things this way.  This past weekend was the first DDG weekend in a long time.  The last planned one was Memorial Day 2006, and we know how that ended.  We've been together numerous times since then, mostly for things surrounding that weekend or Rai's wedding, but never just us.  We had a blast and really didn't do much.  We went shopping (gotta love it), went to C-lah's dance performance, went to church (the Music Ministry's production of Handel's Messiah was the service), and then went to see "The Women of Brewster Place" musical.  Of course there was a lot of little stuff in between.  The culmination was an impromptu SistahTalk that shed new light on many things and cleared the air. 

Last night, MSP and I were talking in the wee hours of the morning about a topic that comes up all the time between us.  His way of dealing with the situation has not solved the situation in my mind.  So we've agreed to work on finding the balance.  It isn't finishe, I know, but it's progressing. In our talk I realized I haven't been to him what he has been to me.  That's obviously a problem.  I know I have not put forth the effort that I should, not necessarily to match what he's doing per se, but to show that I'm in this and that he can depend on me as much as I can depend on him.  Afterall, "The Greatest Ability is Dependability."

Sooooo....I was tagged by MissSecrets for this post.

The rules:
1. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
2. People who are tagged need to write a post on their own blog (about their eight things) and post these rules.
3. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

1.  I talk to myself on a regular basis.....out loud.  I play out conversations in my head and then practice them.....just because I like to be prepared.  I don't hold conversations with myself, I'm practicing the conversation I will have with someone.  This is why you can't win an argument with me.

2.  I'm always told I should model because I have the body size for it, however, I will not do it.  I don't want little Black girls seeing me and thinking they have to be shaped like me or look like me to be considered pretty.  I want all girls to know that they are beautiful on the inside, and therefore, gorgeous on the outside.  Also, I do not have the frame of a typical Black woman......I get it from my Father.

3.  I always look at a woman's butt.  Always.  I'll point out a big booty to MSP before he can spot it.  Secretly, I wish I had a big ghetto booty - a small waist and a big butt (think Deelishus)...that's what the fellas like Down South.  It has been the one thing I've always hoped for since I was a little kid.  In my mind, I'm  BOOTYLICIOUS!!!! (hey - if I don't think so, who will?)

4.  My Get It List now includes 2 non-Black men: Robin Thicke and John Mayer.

5.  There are at least 10 personalities inside me.....each and every one of them is different and can surface at any time without any prior notice (or warning)

6.  My birthday is on the cusp of Taurus and Gemini....I'm a Taurini, which means I'm Crazy and Stubborn.......

7.  Each one of my names has double letters in it.  I'm one of two (that I know of) REAL Nikki's.  As a kid, I hated my name.  Everyone thought (most still do) it was a nickname....short for something.  It really is Nikki.  I vowed that when I turned 18, I would legally change it to Nicole, but still go by Nikki.  Nicole would be my professional name - who would respect a Supreme Court Justice named Nikki?  Now, I wouldn't change it for the world - it is unique, and it's me!

8.  I have a song for EVERYTHING.  If there's not one already made, I'll create one for any situation.  If you say something, I have a song lyric for it.....guaranteed.

I tag The_DST_PYT, LadySoulful (where are you?), Comosellama, Kcheval, JaneBlaze (come out, come out where ever you are),  TheCHIQSuite, DeltaDivaJP, and anyone else who reads this (I'll check my footprints later)

Soooo......I booked a 6:00am flight on Wednesday....what was I thinking?  First of all - I am a Professional Snoozer.  Getting up to be at the airport by 5:00am is NOT what's hot in the streets.  Second, Wednesday is a CRAZY airport day.  If I learned anything from working at TIA for 5 years, it's that you don't fly the Wednesday before Thanksgiving or the Friday before Christmas. 

Oh well, it all be worth it to see my family.  MSP is coming to Thanksgiving Dinner to meet the rest of my family.........that should be interesting.  I haven't introduced anyone to the WHOLE family.  I'm prepared for the jokes....I can dish them and take them.

Have a Happy Turkey Day!